Social Causality

I’m confused here… Is there some kind of program in place whereby the GOP sends out scouts nationwide looking for the biggest dickheads to recruit as talent. Is there a farm system for this where the rookie assholes start off in some kind of AA league (like the Grapefruit League - but for colossal douchebags). Do the assholes and fartknockers who show the most promise then get called up to be knobgobblers at the AAA level? And the biggest turdburglars - do they then get called up to the Big Show where they can share their fuckery with fellow USDA Prime colostomy bags on a national stage? Does this exist? Or is evolution at work? Was there some kind of primordial fuckface - like a paramecium fuckup? Did this eukaryotic bag of dicks eventually reproduce asexually by, in fact, fucking itself like all the other single-celled organisms had been telling it too for years? Or are these shitbirds the result of some kind of wormlike reproduction whereby someone’s asshole turns cancerous and falls off and then wriggles off only to put on a navy Brooks Brothers suit whereupon it joins its fellow malignant rectal growths in the halls of power? Are these fuckers the little white worms in day-old dog-shit with a $800 suit and a gold watch and an expense account? Or do these cocksuckers form from centrifugal force, coalescing from the noxious vapors that surely must fill the Rotunda? Is that where these fat, bloated, disgusting gasbags come from? Are they the moldy crusty scum left over in a wet spot on rancid mattress at a fleabag hot-sheets motel? Are they the ingrown pubic hair on some over-the-hill prostitute’s festering genitals?